An arm around my shoulder and a hand over my mouth

We all do it and some of us are far better at it than others. Some do it completely by accident, others are master’s of it and enjoy the feeling it gives; and we have all been on the receiving end of it and it’s rarely pleasant.

It’s that time when you sit and look at the speaker or you think in your head as the words come out, “Keep your mouth shut.”

It’s a real gift to be able to keep your mouth shut when you want to say something and its a gift that very few people seem to have anymore - and I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have it in the kind of amounts I want or need.

Politicians certainly don’t seem to possess it - a quick google search comes up with some corkers -

I give you Australia’s Minister for Women’s Issues at the time he said this (oh and prime minister too) Mr. Tony Abbott -

"What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it's going to go up in price and their own power bills when they switch the iron on are going to go up,"

Now for those who are worried about the impending war with the underwater animals, worry no more - President George W. Bush has reassured us that he

“ know(s) that the human beings and fish can coexist peacefully…”

PHEW!!

Then of course there is the (now ex-) governor of California Mr Schwarzenegger who set us all straight, no matter what we think of the subject - 

“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.” 

But of course it’s not just politicians - Princes have a good track record, one in particular, ladies and gentlemen may I present to you a few pearls from Prince Phillip - 

During a recession he mused: “Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.”

“You look like you’re ready for bed!”

To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes.

To the Aircraft Research Association: “If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort – provided you don’t travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.”

To the General Dental Council: “Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.”

I'm sure there are many others from many different people - me included!

Over the next few blogs (unless something else comes up) I'm going to try and give some old Bible quotes an update. Take Psalm 141v 3 "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord..." I believe what David is saying here is Lord I pray the you keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. Amen.

So the point is, and I'm writing this for me and letting you all read it (aren't I nice?), remember the old Chinese internet meme that goes - "You have two ears and one mouth so you can listen twice as much as you talk."